The Blessing of Losing Control
When you face difficulty – and we all do, and will – what is your first response? Do you complain about life being unfair? Do you blame other people or situations? Do you get angry with God?
Every situation is different. It is true that sometimes we face challenges because of no fault of our own. Sometimes bad things in this fallen world just happen. Sometimes, bad things happen because of fallen people. But sometimes bad things happen because of our own choices. That last option is often the last one we consider, because let’s face it, we don’t enjoy owning up to the fact that we, too, are fallen, do we?
However, until we admit we are part of the problem, it’s going to be hard to find the solution.
When difficulties arise in our lives, the scariest part is that we feel a loss of control. You may find yourself in financial trouble so deep that no matter how hard you work, you will never crawl out of that hole yourself. Someone you love may leave you, no matter how hard you try to hang on. Someone you love may die, maybe even suddenly and tragically, and the shock and grief may be so crippling you can’t possibly see how life can go back to a sense of normalcy, if it can go on at all.
You may equate your feelings of helplessness to hopelessness, but nothing could be further from the truth. You know why? Because there is a God in heaven, who is intimately involved with all that happens on earth, and who is intimately involved in all that happens in your life and in your heart. He is all-knowing, all-powerful, and always present, and in His economy, nothing is wasted. Not even your pain. Perhaps especially your pain.
When we feel a loss of control, we set aside allusion for a hard, yet freeing reality: We can never control other people’s actions, or ultimately prevent death. And though there are ways we can make better choices that might give our lives a better trajectory at times, we will all fail at times in our decisions, revealing the fallibility of our minds and the deceptiveness within our hearts.
This loss of control does not automatically mean that we will rightly turn to God and trust Him. Often, it’s easier to blame Him. After all, if He is the one who is sovereign over everything and able to control everything that happens in this life and in this world, why didn’t He stop that bad thing from happening?
If you have ever felt that way, can I offer you a response, free of condemnation? Because I’ve been there too. It’s ok to question God. Job did it quite a bit when he was faced with tragic, personal losses and pain, and in the end, God called him righteous. You know what blaming God reveals? That you realize He truly is the one in control. That you realize how dependent you really are on Him. And let me assure you – He welcomes your questions, He even welcomes your anger. You know why? Because that means you’re at least talking to Him, and you have recognized that if you are to get some sort of answer or freedom from the pain you are feeling, it’s going to come from Him.
This is where understanding God’s character becomes so important. Many mistakenly see a bifurcation of God between the Old and New Testaments: the Old Testament God is full of wrath and judgment, while the New Testament God is love and tolerance. But God does not change (Malachi 3:6; Hebrews 13:8). In fact, the Old Testament repeats over and over a description of God’s character:
“The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love” (Psalm 103:8, et al.)
God’s ultimate desire is not to punish and pour out his wrath, though his justice requires that in cases of wickedness and rebellion, often to right the wrongs that humanity does to one another because they have disregarded God and His life-giving law. His judgment, rather, is often a means to an end. The wickedness that destroys must be stopped, so that His righteousness that leads to life may be enjoyed by His creation, which He loves so dearly.
I read an article recently that got my attention. It was about the Genesis account of the Flood. It is far too easy to jump to the conclusion – and so many have, and do – that God sent the Flood because He was angry with mankind for their wickedness. But the reality is, mankind was destroying one another, and the earth, because of their wickedness, and God was not angry but deeply grieved. They had chosen sin that leads to death, rather than His way of life, and it was their own choices that led to all kinds of evil. Everything they thought and planned was evil (Gen. 6:5). The Flood was actually God’s grace. Rather than allowing mankind to destroy one another completely, He saved mankind through Noah and his family. And He made a covenant with Noah, and subsequent generations, that He would never completely destroy mankind (the real reason for the rainbow). And though we are painfully aware that mankind has continually returned to sin in every generation, in God’s great grace He promised to make a path to salvation that would never fail. That promise culminated in the substitutionary death and resurrection of Christ.
When bad things happen in this life, or simply things we don’t understand, we have the incomparable blessing of calling upon Christ for help, for freedom, for hope. He does indeed help us presently in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16, et. al.). He supplies grace, and direction, and wisdom, if we genuinely ask Him for it. But we also know that if we place our trust and faith in Him, we have a secure future in eternity, beyond this temporal and troublesome world, where there will be no more confusion, pain, tears, or dying.
And for that, we can be thankful that we are not in control, but He is. Only He can give us such blessing and hope. Thus, in our depression and desperation, we find life.